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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
| Saturday, July 5th, 2008 | ||
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ankhet |
3:11a | wisdom in novels You find truth in the most unlikely of places. From the same page in Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander: "'You think money can solve any problem, but all it's good for is buying the things it can, and leaving you free to pursue the things it can't.'" and "'...whenever did love have anyhting to do with deserving?'" |
| Wednesday, June 25th, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ sharz ] |
1:51a | Pharmacy Mock Trainee Pharmacists: Donepezil is a medication that helps those with Alzheimer’s/memory function. Trainee Pharmacist 1: Hey Mrs P hasn't rung for her donepezil refill... Traine Pharmacist 2: She always forgets to ring, we always have to ask. Trainee Pharmacist 1: How do you forget to refill your medication? Honestly! Me: You know what donepezil is for right? Trainee Pharmacist 2: Yeah, memory.. Me: *waits* Trainee Pharmacist 1 & 2: Ohhhhhh! *lightbulbs appear* |
| Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ makeshiftmartyr ] |
12:34a | Maybe it's just me... ...but when my allergies are prone to aggravation, I try to avoid being in places that could trigger them. Obviously, someone today didn't think that far ahead. During our lunch rush today, I got the privilege of dealing with an older lady today who decided that mid-way through her meal she was going to grab her and her (adult) daughters food and move to an outside table that very clearly has not been cleared just yet. And sit there until someone could come out and clean it. Not bothering to request someone come clean it since we're all busy. Just sit there and stare at us until one of us has a chance. This lady looked like she might not be the brightest person. And I was right. She kept running in and out during the rest of her time at the restaurant. Could not figure out why. She finally comes back in and goes, "I'm very sorry for running in and out like this. My allergies are just driving me nuts and I can't figure out why. I'm only allergic to flowers." ....there is a HUGE pot full of flowers right next to her table. Her chair, even. She's almost on top of them. But she can't figure out why her allergies are acting up. |
| Monday, June 23rd, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ kouriarashi ] |
10:02p | The stupid people have been out in full force lately... A nice woman asked me at the office today, "If I'm diabetic and my foot starts turning black, should I call my doctor?" All I managed was a rather dumbfounded, "....uh, yes." Current Mood:  alarmed |
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mock_the_stupid [ katiedid717 ] |
8:52p | About a year and a half ago, I was sitting with my family at the dinner table. The salad bowl was at the other end of the table from me. I asked "Could you pass the salad?" twice with no response. Finally, I was really annoyed and practically shouted "JILL! Could you PLEASE pass the SALAD?!" My whole family stopped and stared at me...and that was when I realized that I hadn't asked out-loud yet. |
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mock_the_stupid [ zelmeowsoften ] |
12:50p | Two Courthouse Stupids A few weeks ago I was subpoenaed by the state to go to traffic court and testify against the woman who hit me, as she was apparently trying to get out of her ticket (and that is a whole different stupid altogether.) As you probably know, to get into a courthouse, you have to go through security. It's a pretty pared-down version of airport security: metal detector but no x-ray, brief wanding but no shoes off, etc. After I go through security, I'm not sure where to go so I stand in line to ask one of the clerks. As the courthouse is small, this line happens to end directly next to the entrance security, which gave me an excellent view of the following proceedings: Man Idiot walks into building, starts putting things from his pockets in the little tray so that Cop can look through them. Among the items is a knife attached to his keychain. Obviously, Cop goes right to it. There is a pause, then: Cop: Sir, switchblades are illegal. Idiot: Oh, that's okay, just give it back then. Cop: You're not understanding me, sir. Switchblades are illegal. Idiot: Oh, do you have to take it then? But it was expensive. Cop: You're not understanding me, sir. Switchblades are illegal. Having one is a misdemeanor punishable by (large fine amount) or (such-and-such jailtime.) Idiot: Well, the guy sold it to me. Cop: I'm gonna need you to come over here, please. Idiot: The guy sold it to me! Cop: May I see you driver's license, sir? First of all, I think it's pretty stupid to try and bring a weapon into a courthouse. It just seems like one of those common sense types of situations. But, okay, it was on his keychain. Easy to forget, I guess? But who brings an illegal weapon into a courthouse, gives it to a cop, and then expects to get it back? Watching this scene, I was totally aghast. But then I went into court, and was hit by another stupid. There were several cases dealt with in the court session before it was my turn to testify. Basically everyone there was in the same situation: person X allegedly did something bad in traffic (usually causing a collision) and got a ticket. Then person X decided to contest the ticket, for any of several reasons. Person X gets a court date to explain their side to a judge, and Person Y, who was at the scene or involved in the accident in some way, is called in to be a witness against person X on behalf of the state. Two men are called to the front of the courtroom. I will call them Witness and Defendant, which should be pretty self-explanatory. Defendant was was the only person present (besides one attorney) wearing a suit, and seemed to be taking this chance at arguing his case very seriously. He also had a court translator, as his English didn't seem very strong. I don't speak Spanish, but the translator seemed to be doing an excellent job, so I don't think the following was due to any miscommunication. Witness goes up and gives his version of events, detailing a collision in which Defendant was at fault. Defendant is being charged with going too fast and driving without auto insurance. Then, Defendant is sworn in. Judge: Defendant, would you like to tell the court your side of the story? Defendant: No, that's pretty much how it happened. Judge, obviously prompting in case he didn't understand: Are you sure? You don't have anything to add? Defendant: No. Judge: Well, what about the insurance? Have you brought documents showing that you have car insurance? Defendant: No. Judge, boggling: Okay, well then I rule this infraction committed. I seriously almost laughed out loud in the back of the courtroom. I can't understand why you would go to so much trouble to show up, drag a witness out, dress your best, get a translator, all to refuse to argue your case. Why bother? (x-posted to my personal journal) EDIT: Because many people are talking about how you can get a ticket lessened or removed if the cop or prosecutor doesn't show up: I've heard that too, but apparently the prosecutor's office here doesn't feel that traffic collisions are worth their time, as they will send subpoenas to witnesses involved in the accident, but do not request the officer to show up, and do not bother to send a prosecutor to court proceedings. The only people present are the defendant, and sometimes a witness if there was someone else involved. |
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mock_the_stupid [ jaelle_n_gilla ] |
4:41p | Strange animal products The post on stupid vegans reminded me of two incidents I had a while ago. One was at McDonalds. for information: I am allergic to pork but I am not a vegetarian. Back then I really wasn't sure if McD used pure beef or the mixed minced meat variety that is so prominent in Germany. Me at the McD counter: Sorry, do you know what meat is in that hamburger? McD girl: It's hamburger meat. Me: I meant, is it mixed or pure beef, do you know? McD: It's hamburger meat. Me: I mean, what animal is it from? McD: Hamburgers. Me: Em, ok, I'll have a salad please. (Beeficus hamburgious is a rare and timid beast that lives in the suburbs of big cities...) --- The second is a discussion I had with a so-called animal-lover and hence vegetarian. I remember the first few lines of it well, but the rest was just pointless discussion with no-one willing to give in. She: I don't eat beef, either, because the cows are held in captivity and in very bad conditions. Me: But you do wear suede leather shoes and a leather belt? She: What does that have to do with being a vegetarian? (Erm, no, I'm sure they made those of animals who dropped dead from old age.) |
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mock_the_stupid [ turkituck ] |
12:25a | Stupidity and Irony So I went to Taco Bell for dinner tonight, after being bombarded by commercials for the new Value meal items and the new Queso Crunchwrap. Usually it's a coin toss if it's going to take forever to get food or if I'll be in and out quickly. Tonight looked to be a long line in the drive-thru so I went inside. Inside, people were going nuts, the manager was attending to 'an issue' on drive and it took about 20 minutes for me to even get served. When the girl finally was able to take my order, i looked towards the back and remarked "Bit of chaos back there?" "Yeah," she said "Some lady ordered a new queso crunchwrap and then was furious when she found out it had cheese on it." I made a O__o face. "But... Queso... MEANS cheese... And there's pictures all over the store... what did she THINK it was???" She nodded sadly and took my order. The ironic part came when i got home and took a bite of the Queso crunchwrap that i ordered. It was all queso and nothing else. |
| Sunday, June 22nd, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ samyania ] |
4:53p | Oh, Wal-Mart. All right. Background. I go to college in the lovely state of Indiana, where apparently certain kinds of glue are a controlled substance that can only be purchased by legal adults. During the first week or so of college, I had the misfortune to break some boots of mine that required some serious glue to fix. So I went down to Wal-Mart to purchase it. My purse is kind of cluttered, so I managed to fumble out my college ID (this is important) and several other things before handing over my driver's license (also important) to the cashier. She takes a look at it, punches in some numbers, and hands it back to me. Cashier: "I'm sorry, I can't sell this to you." Me: "Why not?" Cashier: "This says you were born in 1998. You have to be 18 to buy this, which means you have to have been born later than 1989." She was, let me repeat, reading my driver's license. Which is traditionally acquired after the age of 16. After having seen my college ID. Which one traditionally acquires while going to college. Mixing up the numbers is a reasonable mistake, but mistaking an eighteen year-old for a ten year-old is not. |
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mock_the_stupid [ paresse ] |
5:55p | I was hanging out with some friends and met this guy for the first time. To give a little more context, he had just graduated from a university located in Boston, and we were in New York City. Within the first five minutes of meeting him, this conversation occurred. Guy: So where are you from? Me: Philadelphia. Guy: That's like... 2 hours from Boston, right? Me: No, actually, it's about 5 hours by car. Guy: Really? I thought it was closer. Me: It's in Pennsylvania. Guy: Isn't that west of Massachusetts? Me: No, it's south of New York. Guy: Oh, sorry. I'm really bad at math. To be fair to him, he was kinda drunk... |
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mock_the_stupid [ kristenitaly07 ] |
1:35p | what's that hissing sound? The parking lot behind the building the my capoeira school is a one way, one strip lot with slanted parking to avoid any confusing of possibly going the wring way. There are also those spike things at the entrance that you can only drive over one way, to get in. When you pull into the drive way there are signs warning you to not back up after you've driven over them. When you exit that way there are two big red signs that say caution you can't exit this way because there are spikes that will pop your tires and there is a third handwritten sign that says caution spikes. Yesterday my friend and I witnessed a woman exit the parking lot through that driveway and just drive off. She didn't even hesitate or give any indication that she realized something was very wrong. She just drove off, tires hissing. I wonder how far she got before she realized that her tires were ruined. |
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mock_the_stupid [ gerald_duck ] |
7:26p | Measurements don't work that way I was walking through the park just now, and a family had accidentally knocked its ball into the brook. The ball had floated across to the other bank and the husband was trying to retrieve it with a stick he'd found; he couldn't quite reach. "Try it the other way round," his wife suggested, "it might be longer." Current Mood: Dumbfounded |
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mock_the_stupid [ seniorfetus ] |
12:22a | Ok so a while back a close friend and I were flipping through channels when she happened to stop on a nicotine patch commercial. This commercial advised that smokers trying to quit use the patch instead of going cold turkey, cue large image of frozen poultry. She froze for a moment and then squinted as if trying to calculate the square root of life itself. Me: What's wrong? Friend: ...so what is it about cold turkey that makes people want to stop smoking? Me: .... If only. |
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mock_the_stupid [ carlyy07 ] |
1:20p | My friend had recently learned a few sign language words and was showing us. It was basic things, like animals and colours etc. Going through all the colours she knew, I jokingly asked 'Why can't you just point to the colour?' Her response: 'What if they're blind?!' |
| Saturday, June 21st, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ xlatedawnsx ] |
6:14p | Second hand mock This is quite small... My boyfriend works at Target, and he attracts the weirdest customer enquiries, I swear... Sometimes I wonder whether he makes them up because of the sheer idiocy. He shared this one with me last night: My boyfriend was in homewares, and an Asian woman, probably about 30, comes up to him holding a box of Lego. Her - The box says 7 to 12... is that dollars?? Him - .....no, that's reccommended age..... Her - Okay. My son is 10, do you think this would be okay for him? |
| Friday, June 20th, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ rewhite ] |
11:49p | While flipping through the channels driving earlier today, I came across this little gem. Mark Simone, filling in for Mark Levin, took a call. I tuned in for the middle of the call. I'll paraphrase as best as I can remember. Mark: The oil companies take an 8.5% profit. Most other industries take a 20% profit. Do you know what that means? I'm sure you'll pretend you know what it means. Caller: That's per quarter! They take the same profits as every other company. How many quarters are there in a year? Four! Four times... Mark: [turning down the feed on the caller] You don't understand it... I don't care how accurate the figures are or what side of the debate they're on (or you're on, for that matter), the caller's response made my arithmetic hurt. |
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mock_the_stupid [ velloso21 ] |
10:35p | I was eating lunch at a local deli when I overheard this conversation from a couple of high school kids studying for what I can only believe is their American History exam. Stupid Girl #1: So wait, what was so great about JFK anyway? Stupid Girl #2: Wasn't he like, the first black president? Stupid Girl #1: Oh right! I fear our future |
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mock_the_stupid [ kymster ] |
6:33p | Road Typo Here's a link to the story in the Miami Herald - http://www.miamiherald.com/835/story/57 And for the link-shy, a synopsis. Not only did the road workers misspell "LANE" once - they did it four times! There's a photo in the link. The "N" is backwards. Current Mood:  amused |
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mock_the_stupid [ foolthedeceiver ] |
6:43p | Stupid people shouldn't breed Hello all, I'm a lurker who's finally decided to join. My first contribution to this community is an example of overwhelming stupidity I discovered just a few minutes ago. This is why we need more sex-education in schools, and why parents/guardians should teach their kids that a baby means responsibility. It's not just a doll you can dress up and play with, it's an 18(+) year commitment! *headdesks* To summarize, for those who don't click the link, it seems a group of teenage girls in Massachusetts have made a pact to all get pregnant at the same time. There... there are no words for this idiocy. I'll just sit back and let the rest of you comment while I try to find something to soothe my broken brain. :( Current Mood: overwhelmed by the stupidity |
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mock_the_stupid [ sete_di_sangue ] |
7:29p | Survey says... Self-mock, and not stupid as much as "what the HELL?" My family has a love of computer Family Feud. We play for hours. I'm reading a book, and tossing out answers for my brother. Brother: Name something a rich person would embroider or have their name on. Me: Towels. Brother: Good. Me: Um... shirts. Brother: Good. Me: Um... jewelery Brother: Need three more. Me: Cufflinks? Brother: No Me: Pillowcases? Brother: No Me: A duck? Another question was "Name something you shouldn't scratch." My sister puzzles over this, then promptly answers "Strangers." |
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mock_the_stupid [ mprice ] |
3:23p | Cue the "Stupid" music My son, Jim, is going to school for Massage Therapy. This semester he's learning Shiatsu Massage, which he calls "a combination of acupressure and yoga." Very soothing. During the times the students practice, they play quiet music. Jim: This is nice. Stupid fellow student: What is it? Jim: It's Celtic music. Stupid fellow student: Huh? Jim: You know, traditional type music. This one's from the 16th century. Stupid fellow student: It can't be. They didn't have music that long ago. Jim: O_O |
| Thursday, June 19th, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ tacettaur ] |
8:31p | Cigs on a plane! Snakes wre five minutes ago! Lady lights cig up in cabin. Is told to put it out. Verbally harrasses flight attentant. Is handcuffed. Breaks cuff. PUNCHES FA. Plane lands in Denver, woman arrested. ( Text under cut. ) I think that they should have just thrown her out of the plane with a parachute. Current Mood:  confused |
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mock_the_stupid [ directionseeker ] |
5:37p | I hope this is ridiculous enough to be posted. Lately, I have been seeing who passed art class and who didn't. I ask people, "This is a test. What colors do you mix to make blue?" About half of the time, I get the answer "green and yellow." I hope I don't have to explain that one. Current Mood:  devious |
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mock_the_stupid [ sevesteen ] |
5:18p | WHOSE wallet is it "Should Congress quit funding for Public Television and NPR, Public Radio?" Richard Guess of Charleston says, "Congress should continue paying for it because if they don't, the taxpayers will end up paying for it." |
| Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 | ||
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mock_the_stupid [ geearewhy ] |
11:12p | Last week a friend was telling me about their various dietary restrictions, and related this short exchange they had had with another friend of theirs. Friend: I don't eat soy products. Other friend: Then what do you do about peanut butter? Friend: (blank stare) Current Mood: amazed |